"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Serenity Prayer.
I was not always the man I am today. I can assure you of that. I am stronger today than I was yesterday. Fifteen years ago, I was light years from where I am now. Their are a great many differences between the man I was and the man I am. But, there are some similarities too. The devils that plagued me then still plague me now. The difference is, I have lots of experience fighting those fights. There's a strength that comes from all that experience. I guess you could say I'm battle tested. Still, the devil is a tricky bugger. He doesn't give up very easily. At the moment he sees that you're getting the best of him, the devil doesn't just pack it in. At that moment, he tends to try harder. He has this way of sending people and situations into our lives just to see if we'll crumble under the pressure. That's how he operates. He tests our will.
I have to admit, my life has been looking up lately. I've had some good days. But, that doesn't mean I don't have my battles. I do. In fact, the battle is starting to heat up a bit. In these moments when I wonder how I'll maintain the strength to carry on, I think of the serenity prayer. I learned it when I worked with addicts. Its powerful stuff. God, give me peace. Allow me to be still. Allow me to see that this battle will continue whether I like it or not. Give me the strength to do my part. Give me the wisdom to know when my part is to go sit down somewhere and wait. Give me the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you are on my side.
That's my prayer tonight. Amen.