Thursday, April 7, 2011

Square Peg, Square Hole

I'm doing it again. I'm getting married. I found a woman who loves me, in all my craziness, and I asked her to never leave. By the grace of God, she actually agreed to those terms. And so, I am getting married....again. I point out that it's the second go 'round not to make a comparison. I say it because someone mentioned to me yesterday that they were surprised I was willing to try again. Because they knew me during my first marriage, I suppose it's a fair enough question to ask. Why try again?

My first marriage left much to be desired. I can't say that was a surprise to me. It was one of those strange situations where all of the love in the world never seemed to make the thing make any more sense. But, because we had all of that love, we kept trying to make it make sense. Its a bit like attempting to fit a square peg in a round hole simply because the peg and the hole really like each other. You try hard and all you get are sore hands and chipped edges. You keep trying and eventually the peg or the hole will break. Well, in my case, the peg and the hole both started to break.

Flip to a few years later. Here I am. Maybe a little rougher around the edges but no worse for the wear. In fact, I'd say I'm all the wiser. So much so that when I spotted that hole that seemed to fit my peg just right (pardon the pun), I decided to give it a go. Am I afraid of repeating the past? Sure. I suppose that thought has crept into my head a time or two. But should that stop me from trying? I should hope not.

I spend my days helping people learn to live again. People who have been traumatized by life. They come to me with their stories of pain and sadness. Stories that have crippled them emotionally. They are afraid to live, for fear of being hurt again. And every time, I say the same thing. The stuff that happened in the past is just stuff that happened in the past. It's not predictive of the future. Yesterday is only as influential in your tomorrow as you let it be. A friend of mine put it this way: Your past is like baggage. The key is remembering that, at any time in your travels, you can put your baggage down.

So here I am. Doing it again. Luckily for me, I think I found the square hole this time.

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