Sunday, July 18, 2010

What You Wish For

I've always wanted to be a model. Well, I shouldn't say always. For as long as I've been able to get attention from girls by standing around half naked, I've liked the idea of being a model. That started round about the age of 12. Being the attention starved middle child that I was, I would do just about anything to get attention. It didn't take me long to figure out that there was a negative correlation between the amount of clothing I wore and the amount of attention I got. So an occupation where being half naked was the norm seemed like a good idea to me. As an adult, I pretty much let go of the idea of becoming a model. My need for attention was out weighted by my fear of rejection.

But a funny thing happened a few weeks ago. When I saw a modeling contest online in which my only requirement was to send in a few pictures, I saw my opportunity. I'd be able to say I attempted my childhood wish without actually taking much action. I'd also be able to pass off the rejection that I'd undoubtedly receive as a product of the overwhelming response that internet contests get. But then the unexpected happened.

Now, all of the sudden I'm reliving my childhood fantasy and getting all kinds of attention at the same time. The funny thing is, it's not as fun as I imagined it would be. Although I love all of the attention this little contest has gotten me, being looked at isn't always enough anymore. When I was young, having girls looking and staring was the goal. As an adult, I'd much rather be admired for my mind than my body. But it doesn't work that way. A model gets looked at. That's the point. I guess I should be careful what I wish for.

1 comment:

  1. Great post Rueb, now you know what it feels like to be a woman, haha! However, as a teenager I was the one who always wanted that too. I was the one looked at as an awkward friend, not an object of affection. Now that I do receive that the attention at times, I miss that old innocense.