Monday, May 3, 2010

Island Paradise

No man is an island. That's what they say, right? No man is an island. But what does that mean? No one can survive on their own? Everyone needs someone? So shouldn't the saying go: no man SHOULD BE an island? There's a big difference. I mean, what if you ARE an island? Seems to me that it's possible. I don't know that it's anyone's first choice. Me, I'd rather be landlocked. Totally surrounded. Even a peninsula has some connections. I could deal with that. But if you're the island, do you really have a choice? Think about Tom Hanks in that movie where he's stranded. I'm quite sure he'd have been happy to have a boatload of folks swing by and pick him up. Heck, come visit. Anything. But what say does he have in that?

I guess I've always been kind of a lonely soul. I mean, I make friends okay. I get along with people just fine. Most people are shocked when I say I'm shy. People see me smiling, and they assume I'm this happy-go-lucky guy. But its a trick. Its a front. Just behind that smile, just past that big laugh, there's always been a scared kid who really just wants to go home. But where's home? Hence the whole island thing.

The thing I love about music is that it makes me feel okay about being stranded. Still on the island, but at peace with it. Standing on a stage with my horn in my hand, I always felt like I was standing in the right spot. When I'm in the attic, writing music, its almost like I forget that there's water all around me. Like it somehow doesn't matter. The problem is I spend 99% of my time NOT on stage or in my attic. I spend an awful lot of my time walking the halls of the psych department. Or at little league with my son. Or driving my daughter around. Or out on dates. Or hanging with my friends. I gotta say, all I see is ocean for miles and miles.

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